( ( ( ( Hurtache ) ) ) )Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Why we must hurt somebody we loved?
Ahhha!! Eyezie is back with mushy mushy topic...
I was hurted before, many times, my late sweetheart left me for another girl and dead with my picture in his embrace, later again, my x boyfriend have a relationship with my best friend (ironically to-date, she is still a friend).. and years after that met a guy and he broke my heart again with his no-commitment issues..
Now i was hurt all over again with this guy who i consider my best of best friend, my superb worst nemesis and my only sweet heart whom his heart - changing which he never want to discuss.. I've learned from a friend of mine that he is a REAL womanizer.. but i never caught him red - handed yet.. His habit and activities does convinced me,tough.. The hardest part we kept on and off, which make me very tired and now i'm giving up.. He is very sweet guy and i was fall in love to his caring and sweetness and for being himself.. and even until now the love still strong and alive, it's only me..
Yet, i wonder why he kept coming over me and restart a new flame but every other time when i'm about to putting a bit of hope - he will go all over again with his distant and so on..
It's hurt me so badly cuz it's not only i'm about to lose a guy that i love but also my best friend and worst enemy.. I just hope we never even met!
Well, i'm looking for strenght to move on my life with or without him.. i'm sure will be devastated but sooner or later one of us will dissappear from this world...
I know and should admit that i do always hurting people i loved - but i always learn how to forgive and forget and move on...
Nobody is perfect, 'aight? I always believed in relationship we should be more open - mind and tell truth even if does hurt,
I lost my close friend - Dean in 2005 - she taking her own life and i do felt so hurt cuz i'm one of reason of her death.. Lonely. I hold back my tears and after a week i was crying like h*ll! How it hurt my heart and soul!
So life is so short..
we never know until when we're gonna live.. maybe tomorrow is my last day and i know i didnt do anything to make people that i loved proud of! so let's live life to the fullest and say what you want to say... dont hurt people's feeling just to get advantage of what one might have! i dont want to be lonely and i dont want another lover anymore... it's just an heartache on my list, let it be for awhile...
NtGravity : did i get any point here? who cares.. haha