Wow.. 30years since the day i've been born to this planet... Time travel so fast i've hardly give a thought of it. Well, marking the big 3-0!! So, did i achieved anything for the last 29years? Am i prepared to go to the next stage of life~?


NtGravity : Didnt celebrate this year as I've wanting to celebrate in 2011 - 11.11.11... Insya Allah, Wish me Luck~!
Haiitt~~!!!

I admit that I am an urban style person... i live most of my life in the city and so far, love it... i cant really give any reason "why" as in the city i can get whatever thing i wish for but actually because i'm used to it! 








I really missed my childhood memories when my big brother and friends and me playing outdoor activities - camping, get into the mud, into a jungle, climbing here and there and whole lots of childish things... I strongly agree that childhood should be a fun moment, apart of tuitions, tuitions and more tuitions! Kids in this era mostly fear to sun and 'stupid' outdoor games. Nowadays I rarely see that anymore in my area or in the city where I live... they're more IT savvy and English fluent kind of generation now... more educated... which is very good - lesser poverty and illiterate citizens..something to proud of, but i dont really fancy kids too clever... hahaha.. irritating.. *no offence, kiddo!*


Lately, thanks to a friend, I got the chance return to nature after numerous years... Breathing fresh air, be near to the sea and give me guts to search a long lost friend... I personally think we should go more to suburban area or 'resort'... I really found the peace of mind by doing that - less traffic, less both air and noise pollutions get back to nature and old timer civilization... I feel good doing it once awhile. One of good thing live in a village - everybody knows everybody... 


The first time i went back - the first breathe was amazing... almost shed my tears, it's touch my heart so deeply. The scenery were breathtaking... speechless... ((ok that exaggerate..)) Ha-ha... anyways, I’ve met my long lost friend - Ms Jamayah Bujang... i got to know her when the school term almost finish. We exchange address and picture because that's her final year in that school. I’ve tried to sent a letter to her but it's bounce back to me - I thought the postman couldn’t sent it due to the area was consider small province... as time goes by, grow up and start working - I didn’t give much thought about it... until last January 2009, when I told myself - just give it a try. The most she will not remember me or move to somewhere else. With the only photo I have in keep - I start to look for her and it's so easy cuz as i said, everybody know everybody and to my surprise - she still remember me and even know my name!! I love that moment... by that time, I got to know her and her family altogether very nice!


so it's boost my adrenaline to find more of my childhood or old school friends in the future... cuz as far as I know it bring back ol'happy memories.. don’t you think its fun? Give me buzz....

 

Why we must hurt somebody we loved?

Ahhha!! Eyezie is back with mushy mushy topic...

I was hurted before, many times, my late sweetheart left me for another girl and dead with my picture in his embrace, later again, my x boyfriend have a relationship with my best friend (ironically to-date, she is still a friend).. and years after that met a guy and he broke my heart again with his no-commitment issues..

Now i was hurt all over again with this guy who i consider my best of best friend, my superb worst nemesis and my only sweet heart whom his heart - changing which he never want to discuss.. I've learned from a friend of mine that he is a REAL womanizer.. but i never caught him red - handed yet.. His habit and activities does convinced me,tough.. The hardest part we kept on and off, which make me very tired and now i'm giving up.. He is very sweet guy and i was fall in love to his caring and sweetness and for being himself.. and even until now the love still strong and alive, it's only me..

Yet, i wonder why he kept coming over me and restart a new flame but every other time when i'm about to putting a bit of hope - he will go all over again with his distant and so on..

It's hurt me so badly cuz it's not only i'm about to lose a guy that i love but also my best friend and worst enemy.. I just hope we never even met!

Well, i'm looking for strenght to move on my life with or without him.. i'm sure will be devastated but sooner or later one of us will dissappear from this world...

I know and should admit that i do always hurting people i loved - but i always learn how to forgive and forget and move on...

Nobody is perfect, 'aight? I always believed in relationship we should be more open - mind and tell truth even if does hurt,

I lost my close friend - Dean in 2005 - she taking her own life and i do felt so hurt cuz i'm one of reason of her death.. Lonely. I hold back my tears and after a week i was crying like h*ll! How it hurt my heart and soul!

So life is so short..

we never know until when we're gonna live.. maybe tomorrow is my last day and i know i didnt do anything to make people that i loved proud of! so let's live life to the fullest and say what you want to say... dont hurt people's feeling just to get advantage of what one might have! i dont want to be lonely and i dont want another lover anymore... it's just an heartache on my list, let it be for awhile...

NtGravity : did i get any point here? who cares.. haha


Haitt!!

Big Boys Girls Toys

Yep... it's not about teddy bear or lego set or vibrator... ( maybe for certain girls.. but let's not discuss that here... huhu)

What's my favourite toys?

I got three faves which i love dearly - my make up sets, my Nokia 7610 and 9300i communicator...


What?? Old School? So what.. it's not latest 3Gs thingee but i love those..

Like my 7610, when it 1st came into my hands as my birthday present last 2007.. Was helpless, boring and uncool handphone compare to my N70 which was lost on the same year.. But then, surf in the net and found lots of cool applications and now my 7610 were as savvy as my previous N70 (except those 3G... lalala) Well, 'nuff said i'm quite happy with it!

9300i Communicator 

Crazee Joe (Master in Pranks and stuff you dont want to know.. haha.. Beside, he is like a 'Big Brother' because we all always end up followed his lead.. LOL)